If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize