I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
