Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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