Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
