so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
