Where did you get a picture of my penis
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Come on in and take your pants off
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