I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
false alarm, still single
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