Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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