I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i believe in u and ur pee
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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