Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
