I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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