Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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