He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
