Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
