Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
