I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
