FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
