What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
