Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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