So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
