Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
