take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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