i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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