so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
