it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
