I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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