I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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