So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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