Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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