What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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