Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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