well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
