Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
