This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
