Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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