Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
