But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
