my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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