I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
