if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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