im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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