Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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