i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
