All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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