So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
