you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
