Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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