woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
