I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
