We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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