The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
