he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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