you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
All the doctor said was why
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
