If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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