I hate your face
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
