I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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