My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
