That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
