Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
