Don't make out with my wife yet
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
